Surrounding yourself with people who have the success you want to develop

One of the absolute number one pieces of advices I would have for someone who wants to change themselves in any way is to bring into their lives people who already have the traits which they want to develop.

 

This advice is as valuable as a truck-load of diamond dust – if you only do one thing from any of my articles it should be to follow this advice. In this article I will discuss the whys and hows about this process.

 

I make a great effort to get high-quality individuals in my life who have skills and lifestyles which are similiar to the ones I want myself. My relationships are based on absolute value exchange, I offer as much value as I can in all interactions and the closer people get to me, the more value I offer. 

 

 

However you want to explain it, you do become like the people you welcomingly surround yourself with. Likewise they are a representation of yourself.

 

You will attract people like yourself, and you’ll become like the people you enjoy time with.

 

If you’re expecting to make some massive change in your life without making any new friends then now is the time WAKE UP! If you want big things to happen, then big things need to change. You must be realistic if you're serious about getting greater things in your life

 

The boost which you receive from constant association with powerful positive people who already have the skills or traits which you want to develop cannot be understated. I have quantum leaped myself in many areas by using this technique and I 100% stand by its effectiveness.

 

The stats support its truth. Take the average income of your seven closest friends and you will get there are thereabouts the money that you are on. Do you want to be a millionaire while still hanging out with your friends who treat you like a life-long shop-assistant? Good luck.

 

Does this sound cut-throat or mercenary? It’s not. For one, if you have friends who work the hot-dog stall but have the same drive for self-dev as you, they are ok to keep on the bill. It’s only the ones with bad attitudes, negative mindsets or archaic beliefs about you which you must cut off.

 

By cut off what do I mean? I mean stop calling, stop hanging out. Don’t ignore them by any means, but make no active effort to keep them in your life.

 

If you make five friends now who become your best friends and you vibe with them and hang with them every day you will be catapulted towards mastering and ingraining the lifestyles they have which you are working towards.

 

How exactly does this work?

 

I have a few theories, but to be honest, WHO CARES how it works! ;) The fact is, it does work. All you have to do is find the right people, and bring them into your life.

 

 

1. You need to have the skills to actually make friends with the high-quality people you’re going to be meeting. This is a whole can of worms in itself – for more details see this article. I also recommend buying and reading How to Make Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie.

 

 

2. You need to find people who are already what you want to become.

 

If you want to start earning 500k a year, then you need to find the people who are making 500k+ a year. If you want to become the manager of a retail store, then you should make friends with managers of retail stores. I'm deliberately giving random examples to demonstrate to you the point.

 

You need to find these people who already have what you are seeking, fit in, and befriend them.

This is actually way easier than it may sound once you have developed in yourself a good degree of social calibration and social value contribution.  

There are plenty of ways of meeting people. Internet forums, clubs and societies, events, etc. For example I attended a free government seminar on tax a few weeks ago and made tons of good business contacts.

 

Keep your eyes peeled, and dive into everything which looks promising. Screen for the characteristics you want.

 

Be aware that you’re going to have to come across a little like the kind of person that these people want to hang around. That’s no simple feat, but it’s easier than you might think it is. Make sure you’re dressed similar to them, and generally keep a “similar vibe”.

 

3. Now you need to befriend those people. Say hello and keep a positive vibe.

 

I’d have to write many thousands of words to explain the ins and outs of how to be socially calibrated. Basically – it’s a skill you learn over time. Always aiming to give value, and always paying attention to the current feelings of the people you’re talking to helps a lot. The only way you’ll learn, if you don’t already have these skills, is to get out there and give it a go.

 

Don’t waste your time thinking about how nervous you are or worry about what people might think about you. That’s completely wasted effort, and also you need to wake up to the fact that most people really either won’t care, or won’t notice because they’re too busy stuck in their own heads. Your focus should be on your goals, and on the state of the person you’re befriending.

 

The ultimate way to get these people in your life is to realise together that you have a common goal with them, and therefore you can help each other with it. Find out what these people are all about, what makes them tick, what do they really desire? Is it similar to what you want? If so, you’re both on the same journey and that means you’ve got a good connection.

 

4. If possible get one or more of these people into your circle of close friends. Not your old circle of close friends, but your new one which only contains people who are giving off the vibe which you want to be around. The vibe which stinks of success!

 

Next…!?

 

Catapult yourself to success! ;)

 

I will at a point in the near future be writing an in-depth article on developing highly valuable social traits in yourself - in other words, a method about how to go about making you a person that anyone and everyone wants to be around.