Dealing with rejection, failure or stumbling blocks – the power of acceptance

Occasionally bad things do happen and there's little you can do about that. What you need is a way of getting over those things as quickly and effectively as possible. There’s no sense in sugar-coating these things too much. Some people may call a problem a challenge, or may think of a negative occurrence as a test – that’s all well and good but whatever way you look at it these are things which can affect you in a negative manner.

 

Sometimes these things will come completely out of the blue. You can just be minding your own business, and something comes along and hits you squarely on the nose. It could be something minor, or it could be something major, something which could set you back a little.

 

At other times negative things can happen in response to something you have tried to do. I.E. a sense of rejection or failure could arise when a proposal is rejected, or if a job interview doesn’t work out, or in many other situations.

 

The ultra-successful have failed many more times than they succeeded, the accepted have only been accepted once but have been rejected all the other times, and everyone is occasionally hit by a curve ball in the face – something they couldn’t even see coming which has just knocked them off their balance a little.

 

These things are temporary. They have already happened. The time to move on is not tomorrow or next week, it’s right now – it’s the very moment it happened.

 

 

A few weeks ago my car was clamped for parking in a restricted area – I didn’t realise that was the case. The release fee was a hefty £100, and another £100 per day that I didn’t pay that fee.

 

How did I react?

 

At first I sighed… then I took a deep breath… I considered if there was an alternative way out other than paying and realised there was not… then I promptly accepted the situation, picked up my phone, called the clamping company and paid right away. I was polite to the pleasantly surprised de-clamping officer who had clearly turned up expecting a fight. They removed the clamp, I drove off.

 

And I’ve barely even thought of the event ever since.

 

That was a hit, a senseless waste of my own money at a time when I need to save all I can in order to put something in-place this summer which will require a great deal of funding.

 

But beyond that small hit, I just accepted it. I let it go. Less than an hour later I didn’t even remember it had happened – I only remember when I looked over my bank statement at the end of the month.

 

And what was my reaction to that? A very light feeling of acceptance, and a thought of “Ce la vie.”

 

Not so bad considering how that could have turned out. I’ve seen people arguing with those clamping officers. Getting all red faced, swearing, yelling, probably they tell all their friends, probably they let that little event permeate their lives for days or weeks afterwards. They may even hold on to that hate for years.

 

So what’s the better way of dealing with this? Accept it and then it barely even affects your life, or resist it and feel tons of painful emotions for the next few days, weeks, or even years?

 

I know which one I prefer ;)

 

The most wondrous thing about acceptance is that it allows you to move on straight away. There’s no delay, no pent up frustration. You can get back to your positive productive life-style straight away, and carry on making things better for yourself and loving your time on the planet.

 

 

Definitely not. I’m talking about accepting situations which you can do nothing to change.

 

When something happens which you can change, that is an entirely different situation. For example if you receive raw food at a restaurant. Of course you do not sit there and “accept” your raw steak – you bloody well get the waiters attention and make them aware of it!

 

But there is still a sense of acceptance which it is beneficial to have even this situation. Compare the red-faced bawling customer who is bubbling over with annoyance and resistance inside – “This is terrible service! I will never come here again! This is the worst I’ve ever been treated in my life!! You have wrecked my evening!” – as opposed to the customer who has accepted what has happened and points out the problem to the waiter – “This steak is raw. Could you replace it as soon as possible please?”

 

Who is likely to be recompensed most gratefully?

 

The angry customer will most likely, as with the clamping example, be thinking about the event for days.

 

The other person will only remember the well cooked steak and maybe even further compensation which they received afterwards, and again the event will have barely even affected them.

 

 

 

Meditation is the # 1 way of trainining acceptance which I have found – click here for more articles on meditation.

 

Alternately you can learn more about dealing with difficult emotions in this article on emotional release.